standing tall

i wrote a note to myself saying how i shouldn't give up and study hard. to be honest (so michelle), i'm not someone who faces farewell and the end of something pretty well. like when we graduated from beatty, i thought it was such a big change. beatty was seriously the best place filled with the best people. but for now, i'm secretly glad its over. after this major exam which i really hope i can ace in, i hope for things to turn around.

this place terrifies me, and it has been such a rollercoaster ride. everything that happened in and out of sydney changed me as a whole being. i no longer care so much, i no longer feel so much, or think too much. i figure out, there no point wasting my time trying to get back things or people that was taken away from me. if they chose to leave me in the first place, they ain't that worth it, are they? for now, i'm good with those who stayed and accept me.

if you happen to see this, i really miss you though. i miss the old times, i miss everything between us, i miss how i could trust you, i miss you as someone i could count on. but i miss you no longer means i want you back. it doesn't mean i need you anymore. i just thought it would be a lot happier if things are how they were before you left. but nothing stays the same, even friendship. you get over and you move on.

i never thought there should be moving on in a friendship. but you taught me otherwise.

and i shall keep the rest of my thoughts private.

anw, its 11:11! (made a wish) and i bet cass is making a wish now! had a htht with cass just now and i'm so glad i have her, really. i never have the balls to tell her personally but if you happen to arrive here, i hope you don't give up on our friendship because i wont.

there are so many things i wish i could say out loud or even scream it out loud. but no. i swore to myself from now on i'm gonna be as low profile as possible. like what novi said, be the audience to the show.

for now i just want to thank God for those who believed in me.